Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
I'll throw in a blow job for your kind ways. Or another booty call. I'm poor and not very imaginative. This is all I have to offer- the unicorn like wonders of my vagina.
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
she left around the point i tried to tie her hair around my dick
She dumped a fish bowl of alcohol on herself. Just like flash dance.
Maybe walking up to the cops busting our party with a "Things go better with Coke" t-shirt on and asking for my extra license back that my little brother got busted with wasn't the best idea of the night.
You pulled me aside and handed me a plastic childrens' tea cup full of 151 and said "trust me its a great idea"
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
Promise me if ever I think I can't do anything, remind me that I waxed my own butthole
Randomize
