STUCK IN CAPS. WANA GET AFTER IT TOMORROW?
Sometimes when I whip my dick out it looks REAL impressive. This, was NOT one of those times.
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
red lips, whiskey sips, shaking hips, nipple slips. my life as a rap song.
I managed to make myself a bowl of apple jacks, took one bite and had to stop eating them because they were making my brain wiggle. How was your comedown?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
When Pony by ginuwine plays I pretty much just grind on the nearest penis.
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I don't wanna shit myself again in 2015
No. I'm home alone and 100% dickless. I hate my life.
Randomize
