We won't sleep together?
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Some random walked into our tent, woke her up and said "Harry Potter must not go back to Hogwarts!"
I knew it would be an interesting night when he showed up at my house on a scooter wearing a six foot american flag as a cape.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Boys should be on-demand - like, once you select one, he's yours for the next 24-hours
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
This power is too much for most humans to handle safely. It's like having the nuclear launch codes, except it's my penis.
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
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