Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
It wasn't until that morning that I realized I wasn't actually dreaming, finding myself in the bathtub with someone laying on me
I think this breakup is Gods way of telling me I deserve a bigger dick
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
Curled up in the fetal position, trying not to throw up or think about my future, and humming songs from musicals to myself. You?
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
IT WAS SO BIG. I FORGOT GOD MADE THEM LIKE THIS.
Ate a live seahorse, then tried to order a nacho bell grande from an ATM.
How the fuck do you get to keep practicing as a Nurse.
Checking my Tinder matches as I sit here in the waiting room at Planned Parenthood. I can't be stopped.
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
Randomize
