i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
she hot?
i don't wanna talk about it
That's kind of creepy but I guess since I'm wearing your dad's pants nothing is off limits anymore
i have a strong urge to join the asians in the park doing tai chi. I think im still high .
so he just left - touched my cheek like he was gona kiss me and then gave me a fist bump?
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Unless you can blow me and bake me a pie at the same time, im not impressed.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
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