I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
found POGS while I was cleaning my room this morning. Definitely bringing them back to school to turn into a drinking game.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
For her birthday she wants to, " try something different with our butts a funnel and a bottle of whiskey"
I HAVE A PIGEON IN MY JACKET.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
all my money is vodka money
I have never read a truer sentence.
I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I just had a guy ask me if his "jewelry downstairs" would set off the metal detector.
Randomize
