I'm a big fan of 2 things right now: 1) Gatorade and 2) the fetal position
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
Just finished off half a bottle of vodka. Can't take in anymore liquids so I ate 3 spoonfuls of your powdered gatorade to fight off the hangover. Wish me luck and check me for a pulse when you get in!
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
Grandma said I got a good handjob. I think she meant manicure.
Randomize
