I've come to the conclusion that if I was an old man, I would perve around in short gym shorts for kicks.
Question: does he have any sense of self image? He looks slightly like he crawled out of the Euphrates after living as a fish for 20 years
She liked every single Facebook status in her newsfeed and then made her status 'I LIKE U GUYS'
The bouncer said he wanted to but BBQ sauce on my legs. That Mystic tan has already paid for itself.
...She was shooting whiskey using a turkey baster...i was horrified.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I'm sitting in my 10 am lecture drinking a flask out of a dorritos bag...I think people are starting to notice but I'm already too drunk to care
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
He stopped me in the middle of a blow job to call his grandma for her birthday.
At least he has family values.
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
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