Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
Actually just remembered that solo cup full of scotch that random guy gave me for not farting on him. That's probably why
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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