Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
I just had to have my mom look at my penis to figure out what it was. How do you think my day is going?
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
Grape juice and vodka is NOT wine.
I think it was the chocolate body paint and awesome blowjob that finally made us official.
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
The security guard popped his head over the mens room door and goes "nice tits- now get out." Deer in headlights moment right there.
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Thanks to you and Ketel One I now have a court summons with the actual word "frolicking" on it.
Is it socially acceptable to stop at the strip club for the lunch buffet on my way to the airport?
I woke up this morning to a lot of blurry photos of a swan i must have chased down the riverbank and a handbag full of loose haribo.
Let's stay in this weekend and play drinking games to the Winter Olympics.
As long as we can drink anytime we see a stray dog, mafia looking Russian or double toilet.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
scotch tastings during the week is a baaad idea. i woke up w no pants but wearing my winter coat
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