Girls gone wild is like the hills, except sexy and it doesnt suck
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Just walked past a girl wearing nothing but flip flops and an oversized sweatshirt crying by the front gates eating pizza. i just found your soulmate.
So Ive been fucking her for the past couple months and i just found our that my grandfather and her grandmother were fuck buddies for a while. I feel like this is a new awesome family tradition that skips a generation.
Checked out the free sonogram van on campus and got a free DVD of my sweet food baby.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Shared a jello shot with her mom last night. then she tucked me in and took of my shoes for me
Had a drag queen carry me to the car. So I'm told...
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
We could put on there: "Drink jager bombs and do stupid shit faster, with more energy!"
Holy shit, add "successfully got stoned secretly at a party where a cop was" to my list of accomplishments.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just thought you should know that you should be proud of your dick. It's pretty much perfect. Just, ya know, by the way.
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