Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
It's underwear night and I am literally in the bar wearing nothing but underwear and flip flops.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
Dude you asked your tattoo if it wanted to go swimming
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
This is possibly the most humiliating moment of my life. I have diarrhea, in a port-a-potty, at the Renaissance Festival.
we were running around the halls trying to bloodhound search out the source of the weed smell, but we ran into six other people doing the same thing, and they all said they assumed it was us.
And you tried to get me to have sex with you in our Harry potter closet lol
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