I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
omg. he's a virgin strip club employee who's going to college on a ping pong scholarship. this is unreal.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
Apparently my gaydar only works on americans. Frenchie capris has two topless chicks in our kitchen making him breakfast.
She was doing lines off of her friends boobs in the limo at 9 oclock on a thursday This has the potential to be the best weekend ever
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
Well it's been 24 hours and I still feel like a mammoth sat on my balls
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
They came over the loud speaker and said "no laying on the dance floor.." I thought i was dancing, but apparently that's just the way it started out.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
you would have been so proud of how classy i just looked at the pharmacy with my $10 off plan b coupon. so resourceful.
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
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