we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
No, we have matured. We've stopped having sex in front if his room mate.
Sign out of Gchat. Right now my gchat list is entirely girls I've slept with.. and you. You are fucking up my gchat chi.
the last thing i remember is yelling at the cab driver that i'm really good at drive by vomitting.
In the world of sexual, erotic texting, you rank somewhere between "how much teeth do you want" and "how dry do you want it"
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just recorded myself pooping, then uploaded to google drive, then connected to my pc through teamviewer then downloaded it, then played it to the living room while still pooping. God I love the internet.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
Do one night stands count towards my number?
Yes. A penis is a penis
Even bad ones?
YES.
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I love you, and I just washed my hair in my work sink with handsoap.
Randomize
