Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
like why cant he just admit that he still wants to fuck me even though im underage
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
He told me he loved me. I didn't know what to say so i just squirted the baby oil at him
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
Also, there's a guy walking around the kitchen in a shark onzie, and he just asked if we've ever smoked weed with a shark before. I'm dying
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
there is puke in my bra ... again
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
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