i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
this is the second time this week i got a blowjob from a crying girl.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
Except there is my pee all over the walls now
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I would let Bear Grills repel down a waterfall using my dick if I could go to sleep right now.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I've scurried myself in your trunk come find me in the morning
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