im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
still haven't packed clothes. only wine. gotta love spring break
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
Gonna bang his former student. Clearly I am winning this breakup.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Acid king. Jackson puked a lot. Promoter booth. Angry security. No acid. Probably a good thing.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
