Whod you bang
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
i came home at 4 a.m. and made a dozen eggs and three lbs. of bacon. my mom woke up and the only thing she was pissed about was that i used the whole carton of eggs, but then she sat down and ate with me
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
Must say, as a couple, she and I are thrilled that our pretend lesbianism has paid off.
Also I just took Ritalin with coffee so if anyone wants to know what numbers sound like, I got you
Watching the blind side bc I need a good cry to make sure I'm still human after this weekend's questionable life choices
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Wow this just keeps getting better, weed, shrooms, a stripper..........a gun.
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
Randomize
