happy early fathers day!!!
im not a father
about that...
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
Redeem this text for a blowjob
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
well, 500 bucks doesn't grown on trees, and i need that bear suit for any chance of vagina access.
By the way, I'm pretty sure your husband is publicly advocating more BJs for my husband, via Facebook.
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
And then I was like pick your blow job song and he choose the sonic the hedgehog theme song. If he's not the one no one is.
Randomize
