I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
dude she's married.
so? a ring don't cover no holes.
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
disregard all texts ive sent you minus taco motherfucking bell
Help. Me. He just whispered 'prepare yourself', & sprayed hairspray everywheres to make sure the 'air was crisp'
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
Thats the worst face I've ever seen you make an I've seen you throw up in your own hair.
I am 48% hangover, 48% bruises and 2% fingers I'm texting with.
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
Nothing with ever convince me that she wasnt purposely left behind by our mother to ruin my life and fuck our family
I see your creepy poodle photo and raise you a shirtless elderly gentleman who looks like a yetti in cutoffs who may or may not have an ENORMOUS erection.
.... touche....
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
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