I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Just found the last picture of me as a virgin. Framed it.
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
NO TEQUILA
Why do I always think it's a good idea? Like a challenge? Shit maybe I should CHALLEGE myself to get laid for once instead
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Only in this town do you have a bridesmaid shortage due to pregnancies.
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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