Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
Dude i just saw JT leaving the hospital. He drove there to get fluids because he was too drunk, so they hooked him up to an IV so he didn't get alcohol poisoning. Did I mention he drove there? Oh yea and our roommates in the hospital with alcohol poisoning, she just puked up coal. So many ppl are here, it's like a hospital party, I love spring quarter!
im watching shaqs comedy special. this is how i know im not sober.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
I am now "wine pairing" tums flavors with my strongbow, because apparently hard cider gives me heartburn.
Man I sound like a slutty Mormon
She said my mask was creepy, took it off with her teeth, and proceeded to bite my neck. I love vampires.
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize
