if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
I think the puke all over the side of my car actually improves its appearance.
Sitting here wishing there were men in my life.
me too. too bad ive decided to fill that hole with cookie dough, closing the door to future men one fat cell at a time.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
It was either a cute kinda butch tomgirl or a really fem guy. Either way, I made out with it. Bisexuality, my best friend.
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Its not something you can force it it just has to happen like a rainbow or pooping
Randomize
