eric is really sick so I'm taking care of him! :(
just blow him with soup in your mouth.
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
Gentleman, we have a new medal category - number of women per day in apartment WITHOUT FURNITURE
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
i feel like im paying for every hangover i didnt experience last year as a freshman. thank you sophomore year.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
No I don't want to see you. You're the reason that I'm going to need a new liver by the time I'm 30.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I think I may have fully transcended this spectrum of life. I can see beams of light man. Down to the photons
What
The only downside is I can't stop skipping
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
Randomize
