are you still at the devil's house?
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
for a minute I thought I needed to put on pants to go get a burrito, but then I remembered I'm in college
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
It's official drugs can't kill me
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
I'm covered in mustard and it looks like I nose dived in to barbed wire ??? Was last night that good?
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I had a dream about a vibrator with 42 different settings. If that's not a good indication I need to get laid, I don't know what is
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
