My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
hey boys, thanks for all the pictures of your dick you took with my camera last night...they were really nice to stumble upon while reliving my night in the breakroom today at work
He sent me a pic and IT CURVED OUT OF THE PICTURE! Curved. Out. Of. The. Picture.
On the bright side since it was a Tuesday you weren't even in jail for the long! that could've been worse!
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
Well, let me tell you, it was the most vivid sex dream I've ever had. More so than the Paris Hilton one I had in 05. And about as weird.
Either there is a god and he hates masturbation, or one of my roommates stole my vibrator while I was in the shower.
I know I'm not the first to fuck in a park but i deserve props for doing it at 3pm. On a sunny day might I add.
We lost Kevin again. Probably kidnapped by fattie 2 or butter-face 2 from last night. We need names and any information you can give us. Last scene with his shoe laces converted into a belt.
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
All I remember is a very aggressive two-stepper who inadvertently made me give myself a black eye with my own beer
I straight up told your dad I've slept with a majority of your family
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
My life is a random series of events connected only by bottles of Seagram's 7
Randomize
