She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
I always know the weekend is over when the real license comes out and the fake goes back into the hiding spot.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
I was preparing to do my walk of shame shirtless, but then I found my sweater, wallet and keys neatly piled under a tree in the park.
I can't wait to go to grad school so I am not your high unemployed friend.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
Wait, tell the rest at happy hour. I wanna be able to interrupt you with my loud cackles and stupid questions.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
He flipped me around so that we could have sex and both watch Die Hard... I think I found my sole mate. Merry Christmas to me!!🎄
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