So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
at 4 in the morning i heated a family sized mac n cheese for a minute and decided to eat it frozen cuz I didn't wanna wait for that long
Nothing says Christmas like gin and tears.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
I wonder if they'd let me siphon the gas out my car before they impound it
It was fun until the stripper told me it was her first day and started crying.
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
I just windexed my mirror headboard, Lets get to work.
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
Basically taped my dick down because it's too obvious in this costume...
I shaved my asshole for you. You WILL fuck me tonight.
Cooked. Eating pizza. Didn't have a napkin so I took my shirt off and I'm using it.
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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