she kept yelling 'call me bella'
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
I can't go out tonight I need to save my money for important things.....like rogaine and ecstasy.
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I haven't shaved in at least a week, he said "obviously neither one of us was prepared for this"
Just got my period. This just makes my beach escapade totally even that much more ok.
Do you think it's illegal to work at a bar if you're on probation for a DUI? I need a night job where I can meet men.
I heard moaning and ass slapping and sponge bob.
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
We don't have the same problems as normal people do we?
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
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