A joint and a Nerds Rope = breakfast of champions for the unemployed
I was so high i believed someone when they told me le moyne beat syracuse
please don't go to jail. I'd hate to have to call the montgomery county jail every time I need sex advice
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
I'm starting to blur the boundary between reasonable senioritis and self-destruction. Somewhat-openly hittin the flask in 11am class
He'll choke me during sex but he won't eat a strip of bacon. Vegetarians are weird.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
me blowing you awake is the exact turn i want our relationship to take
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Do you have any need for a scary clown mask?
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
My brother really should've known better than to make me go egg hunting with his daughter when I was entirely too drunk to do so. Threw up in a plant in front of her.
I'm craving your dick and a microwave pizza
I was at his place until 2am. We just sat really close an stared at each other. I think you are right. Germans must not have feelings. Not even tingly ones in their pants.
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