Dude!! Mom just asked me why you have 'boobies' hahaha
I hate my life
bitch please you did NOT just unlike my status..
I put so much effort into my vagina today. If i don't get laid tonight I'm gonna be pissed.
They want me to get them some X for there wedding present. I'm on the way to get it now
She said " I'm going to get her back one day soon for putting extacy in my pop while I drove her to whislter" just a heads up.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
I think drunk me saved him in my phone as "beautiful man" to play a joke on sober me
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Randomize
