Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
I threw a jar of pickles out the window at a police car, why was that not a good enough reason to put me to bed?
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
she said she walked into the kitchen and i was sitting ass naked on the floor chugging her parents vodka.
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
I'm surprised they let us keep partying at that hotel bar, that's like the 3rd time I've had to try blocking the view of him peeing off the balcony. I earn my free drinks.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Well while you were being a dick I was taping back together a cougars broken heart
How don't you remember..? You were getting handfuls of skittles out from our bra screaming TASTE THE RAINBOW.
Success! We fucked roommates!
I feel like I'm a car that keeps getting Bacardi 151 instead of fuel
Randomize