Swine flu. Run for my life!
mom and grandma are in town. grandma wants to get drunk with you
i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
I know he gets bloody noses a lot...so that explains all the blood...but I'd say the condoms are definitely from a penis.
Doing lines and watching a show on hot dogs around the world ... Why do I do this to myself
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
Blow job bear ended up in my bed last night. She didn't live up to her costume.
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Texas awaits me. And all the cocks that live there too.
I would steal a car if I knew it had wheat thins in it
is it necessary to steal the whole car?
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
