it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
im having a threesome with these popsicles
today was the first day of rush. talking to girls all day makes me sick of having a uterus.
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
Totally just asked Dad if I needed to show the real estate guy my tits so he would let us buy the house. I've really got to work on that filtering thing.
okay. so this hammed chick got arrested and she keeps trying to make out with the cop. i like her style.
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yo if you blacked out last night, careful going through your purse. There's cocaine in a lollipop wrapper.
NO HOOKUPS IN THE CAR. I will try as i might to practice what i preach, but there are no guarantees.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
Randomize
