so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
Ricky Martin is gay. You owe me $10 from 3rd grade.
he just voluntarily told me he was uncircumsized.. and that his favorite color was blue.
Saw a guy in a chef outfit covered in mustard talking jiberish into his phone running across the skywalk.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
the last thing is remember is that strange guy in the leotard...i woke up in my bed, naked, with a half eaten grilled cheese on my nightstand, a six pack in the fridge, a new pack of cigarettes on my pillow and coke in my purse. apparently i bought some drugs, shopped and cooked. typical.
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
Randomize
