I'm going to get drunk on champagne by myself.
Oh no wait my cat's here. Thank god for a second there I sounded really sad.
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
We had like 4 guys come over and buy us all drinks as an excuse to hit on Kendra. Hanging out with her is now officially fiscally responsible.
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
I am on a roof. I'm not sure which one, or why, or how, but I am on a roof and you should come get me. I can see info classrooms!
And before you knew it they were calling me the pussy usher or something like that
Apparently at 2 AM I decided to let the world know about my newfound love for elephants
He's slurring his text. I didn't think that was possible.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
