nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
But i did once see a show where a women was homeless and installed a stove in a school bus so she and her baby could live there since all the seats were taken out. As far as being homeless goes it didn't look half bad...So this is me promising to you that if i ever am living in an abandoned school bus...i will at least pimp it out with a stove so you can come over for dinner sometimes
Whoa Z and x make the same sound
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
finally stumbled home. 4am. made it to the bathroom and threw up. the cat came in,s aw me, looked at the vom in disgust, and then threw up too. its nice to have such sympathetic pets.
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
You kept saying "sir officer" which would have been polite and helped you if it wasn't a female. She was pissed.
You peed in my camelbak and said it was a reverse catheter. Not cool.
I'm not leaving bed today. And i guess my drunken ass last night hit my roommate in the face with a tiki torch then proceeded to cry while carrying around a picture of he who must not being name. I'm a piece of work.
Unless your apartment has 3 am pancakes Im not coming over.
I've decided that it's a bad thing. But I've also decided that I don't give a fuck.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
I wish I was there so i could bitch slap his incredibly sexy face
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
Randomize
