he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
I miss waking up knowing you're passed out under my bed.
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
the only thing you said was do the helicopter dick
Really uncomfortable with the level of eskimo brotherhood at this family reunion
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Twist to Josh's story, he had a gyro in his hand and never dropped it even after he got knocked the fuck out
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
My goal for the weekend: procure a blowjob using only stern glances, hand gestures, and crudely-drawn stick figures.
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Thanks for fucking the skin off my dick
It was a joint effort between my vagina my feet and your hand you can't just blame that all on me
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