I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Please dont jizz on my ds screen.
you went around and groping mens pants to see "which was worthy" of you to go home with.
you convinced me to pee myself because I was wearing dark jeans.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
I just want to point out that nothing makes my hickie/hangover more obvious than sleeping in a scarf and sunglasses. nothing.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I asked him if we could hang out sometime when we weren't hammered. He said he'd email me his number... that's when I knew I was going to die alone
My wife just tried to justify to me why she wants to bring a girl into bed with us. I should win an academy award for my face and response of 'well of its what you need.'
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Randomize
