Espresso. Can't sleep. Love puppies
We can get Dustin to help us. I think he'd be good at luring girls into a dark alley.
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
We fucked then made friendship bracelets, his mother taught him right!
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I snuck out of his room and his roommate stopped me to tell me there was a condom stuck to my back
I'm planning our wedding on the computer and our threesome on my phone. At the same time.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I just walked across town, stoned off my ass and barefoot in 35 degree weather for him to bust five mins in and then apologize 13 times as I got dressed.
Randomize