I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i have now learned nap means the same thing as sex in college
Mid thrust he tells me that we have bio together
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I just couldn't help myself when there was a FOUNTAIN OF SHOTS
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Congratulations on your lack of fetus.
You were sending me snapchats from a bathtub with your beer helmet on and your boobs out.
I'm about to punish you for sending me a Snapchat of your boyfriend's morning wood
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
He once bought a dildo and put fifty dollars and a happy anniversary note in the battery compartment I gotta lock him down while hes available
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
what could you have possibly accomplished by watching 6 hours of a mythbusters marathon
well, i added sex in a wind tunnel to my bucket list
Was picked up in the middle of a bar full of people...apparently I'm not tall enough to reach for drunken makeouts. I'm proud of myself.
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