Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
So would u like to explain why you ate all my pickels and took my 1800?
About that, i have your 1800 on my desk with intentions of returning it but theres nothing i can do about the pickels
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
sometimes you just have to pull up your panties, blow a kiss to the security camera and walk out of the alley like nothing happened.
I think I broke a hole in her wall trying to do backflips
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
I don't think I'm allowed to have Burger King. What if i just chew for taste and not actually consume. Like a wine connoisseur for fast food
Do you know how much wine is in a box of wine? Not so much an amount, but whether it will kill me if I drink the entire box this xmas
He didn't get how "starting a flash flood in my thunderhole" was a sexy euphemism. Deal breaker.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
