I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
I understand how i shit in my shoes, but explain why you were wearing them.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
when i woke up this morning i blew my nose and ash came out.. i'm not sure what to make of this.
I swear my cock is like a magnet to my friends younger sisters mouths.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
Sometimes one must go to great lengths and make great sacrifices to get drunk. I willingly accept the challenge.
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
He equated my biology degree to a belief in Santa. I wonder if he heard the doors to my vagina clanging shut.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
See that doesn't work because we've had sex so its awkward for you to call me mom
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Randomize
