I bought a boat. Want to have sex on The Angry Clam? That's what I named it.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
some dude is stoned out of his mind in my calc class. just shouted that the teacher was a genius cause he got rid of so many numbers
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Shoot me. Oh my god shoot me. My moms ex "likes assholes"
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
He's literally cuddling with the washer and dryer.
Randomize