don't go home with that guy from jersey
i know, not worth the blood test
i left the bar a little after you and ended up flipping my car in the arbys drive thru
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I hope your perfect outfit is a slutty power rangers outfit. That's been my dream wedding since I was a kid.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
We just got home a lil bit ago. No sorority girls showed except the ugly swimmer chick and she asked if I've ever faked an orgasm.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
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