dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
best part, i was ridiculous and none of them were judging me bc they didn't want my vagina. it was like i was a pretty painting
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
I have jerked off in every room in your house. *the more you know
I'm just planning on experiencing Disney as adult style as it gets. Drinking bloody mary's at dawn and telling all the kids waiting in lines how badly their future sucks and that Santa isn't real.
In the future, could you not call me 'bro' while we're having sex?
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
How so I keep attracting the virgins? HOW?
You talk about your love for your ninja turtle onesie when you're drunk. Are you really surprised?
i guess she just walked over ass naked and peed on his laptop. gonna call an over price on that drunk sex.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
Randomize
