so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
I was actually kinda bummed my STD test came back negative.
That would have been proof he'd slept with the stripper. Lame.
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
He is juggling broken glass botttles, I think its time to cut him off...
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
Took out half a tooth with a handle of jim beam last night. Apparently I can't walk and chug bourbon at the same time
They should make a traveling bouncer service to remove unwanted people from your house without getting the cops involved. That sums up my Friday.
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
