i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Debating whether the Plan B I had this morning would go under breakfast or lunch in my food log.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
I deleted all traces of him from my phone
even the dick picks he sent you?
no are you nuts? saved that shit to my camera roll
I am getting off work an hour early just to watch you drink. Never let it be said that I don't love you.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
Abby there's no shame in reading porn. It takes more work than watching I suppose
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