real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
i upgraded from drunk texts to drunk e-mails...real world here i come
Oh I forgot to tell you one of the little boys in my preschool class was wearing a Hooters tank top today.
we do all of our sexting over chat on words with friends, so my boyfriend doesn't know about it when he looks at my texts.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
bro im too drunk for your spanish code words. did you fuck her or not.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
Where are you? This girl fell on a baby. She is just gone. Please Hurry
I'm hurrying
Dude. She just shit herself.
Ok ladies its the usual spring break system. 5 for a guy, 10 for a non-lesbian girl and double points is its a group thing. Hottest guy of the day is an additional 15. GAME ON
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
I watched you down those shots like a lion cub watching its mother rip apart a gazelle
i am rolling on molly so fucking hard i want to do 300 cartwheels
I'm so sexually frustrated I feel like I'm going to kill my turtle
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
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