the red head has a bf
just because there's a goalie doesn't mean u can't score
would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
i came out of my blackout when my grandma called last night. it kinda sobered me up and i realized who i had been making out with. should i call and thank her for the defensive cockblock?
Ya after that i took a dump on a car... We're definitely partying with him again
Only your wife would write 'for deposit only' on the back of that $1500 check knowing full and well our capabilities of spending it on strippers and booze
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I am making it a rule that only people I am comfortable around enough to not have to put a bra on are allowed for Sunday funday. I think that's a good rule for someone who started drinking alone at noon while everyone else here sipped their coffee.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Dude if I call tonight please answer and just say "NO, dont do it."
BAT SHIT CRAZY
It's you're fault, even though I never called
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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