I think she gave up trying 2 land a bf and let herself go
You misogynist thinking that every girl wants a bf
They do. I don't appreciate u using big words idk and im gonna take offense
I mean roof. it goes up. its important day. you should recongziw it.
You're drunk. Make complete sentences.
It's not luke its my birthday or anything. Mike, understand.
My cousins just decided to make a catapult to spread my Grandpa's cremated remains. I love my family.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
So, right as I'm cumming, I pull out and go "PYEW PYEW" like Star Wars lasers. Best part is, I missed her completely.
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Im calling you paparazzi cause of all the dick pics you take of your one night stands ps loved the panoramic one!
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
You asked for his ID and then said "I am like a bouncer but for my vagina."
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
Randomize
