I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
i think a pirate just stole the rest of our fucking beer. what an appropriate costume.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Before you ask, yes. Whatever you're wearing IS too slutty for his mom's funeral.
Acid flashbacks - fact or fiction? Have been seeing a surprising amount of sparkly shit this afternoon...
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
Well were gunna have to wash the couch cover now...maybe even the couch, soap or fire your decision
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
I heard from the downstairs bathroom "WHY CAN'T I WIPE MY ASS IN PEACE!" and a pisscrate of glass bottles breaking
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
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