i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
she insisted that i refer to her boobs by name.
God forbid we drive unregistered mopeds without license plates on a pedestrians only sidewalk without goggles while flipping off passing cars.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
Walk back down Church toward Mass Ave. Take a right and head for the guy in a kilt on top of the really tall unicycle. C u soon!
You declared your undying love to a drag queen, then proceeded to puke into the poor man's purse.
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
Strip club, what strip club did I eat a steak at? That's the appropriate question
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
highlight of my day: hitchhiking a ride with random locals. tried to make conversation, asked what they do. driver says "you clearly don't recognize me." turns out i have had sex with him and forgot.
You are officially qualified to graduate from college.
Randomize
