who cares. he's ugly and has a dick this big -->
was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
My cousin's wedding had personal beer funnels for each table and a drinking game against the bride and groom. im sorry for ever calling you white trash
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
His penis will pick the quickest route to vagina. it's like an biological onstar.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
Today is going to be the longest game of "was that a fart, or do I need to go wipe?" I have ever played. Maybe the most challenging too.
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
Also, I cannot stop picturing myself in a bar, 3 years from now ordering soda. Just soda. 30 pounds over weight and wearing a cat sweater. I feel like I'm heading in the wrong direction in life.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
just the thought of you slurpin down noodles really rustles my jimmy
you suck at sexting
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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