I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Passed out on the bench in the men's bathroom. Feel much better now.
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
you said "this ones for the homies" and proceeded to pour the shot into your other cup instead of the ground b/c "good liquor is not meant to wasted no matter the circumstances"
Tell me again why I left before the topless cake fight
He kept telling me Te Amo last night. Over and over. And that he was scared. Drunkenly. In Spanish.
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
Nothing like waking up and having two guys who aren't your boyfriend talk to you about their hard dicks before 9 am.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
Randomize
