Mom and Dad are dead. Trust fund
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
i just turned the eviction notice into a beer pong list
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Mid stroke she told me she'd had bigger. Replied I could tell. Sex ended right at that moment.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
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