I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
grab my backpack.....its in the fridge
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
He said he has something to give me... I swear to God if it's a joint or a framed picture of his penis i'm going to kill him
I was talking to a guy at my work, and mid-sentence he started vomiting violently for about five minutes, then he said, " great dope" and carried on like nothing had happened.
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
I found a pair a guys underwear in my purse that has a British flag on it and says and I quote "British beef" what.the.fuck.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Well I'm a full service fuck buddy so lemme know if I can get you food or water or anything
What am I thankful for..I figured out I can drink on antibiotics without getting sick thanks to the power of pot gummies
Randomize
