You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
im at that stage where all she has to do is cough or something and it pisses me off
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
playing nyquil roulette. it entails taking shots of nyquil and hoping it doesnt kick in during sex or in public. game on.
So I hooked up with a guy with a mustache and woke up on a dragon futon underneath a dragon yin-tang tapestry... My life is spiraling in a weird way.
Breakfast Clubbing as Juggalos. I can feel our IQs in freefall.
I'm not taking advice from anyone I've seen passed out naked at noon on the hood of a strangers car. Meaning you.
My roommates call me "Queen of the Skanks" I guess that means I've had a successful first month of college.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
these past three weeks have been a real "fuck you" to my liver
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
She grabbed the other one and started playing tug-o-war against the blonde chick. I told you getting my nipples pierced was a good idea
Stand and applaud for me. I have successfully masturbated in a Walmart changing room with the door wide open during normal business hours. I lead a very Charmed Life.
Randomize
