Rock
Scissors
Fuck
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
Just watched a girl lose her dignity at the corner...it's not even midnight
she broke a 50 dollar bottle of alcohol. then passed out in front of her car and got sprayed by a skunk
remember when we said that thing when we met about how we were each glad we weren’t furries
ok listen,
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
