I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
How, after 24 years of life, did I manage to revisit breastmilk
hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
My mom just said we needed to put weed into our earthquake kit.
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
My Internet history has 23 searches for 24 hour cake. Self respect plummeting.
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
I told my manager that I would be coming in to work either high from edibles on purpose or tripping on acid by accident so he knows to check my work tomorrow.
Decided to stop by the store on my walk of shame. I must really look like shit, a six year old girl just walked up to me and said "my mommy wanted me to tell you Jesus loves you." Thanks kid.
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
Randomize
